From Trev's straight guy pal

Dear fans and friends of Trev:

Jason here. I'm a straight guy who is friends with Trev "in real life." He is my best friend, and I'm proud as hell of him.

I thought this was a very important passage from Trev's post on the Tyler Clementi tragedy:

Like I said, I was there once. Actually a few times. In my case, when I broke down and told my straight college roommate that I was attracted to men, specifically him, and that I couldn't take my infatuation with him anymore...he held me. It was something he'd never done before nor wanted to. He assured me of his steadfast friendship. He bought me lunch, listened to me, and prayed with me too. Our relationship was sometimes strained after that, though we were doing pretty well five years later when I served as best man at his wedding. But what I noticed most was that when my heart found genuine friendship with this guy, my sexual imagination didn't fixate on him very much anymore.

In fact, I've been blessed to find that real friendships with other men give me in reality what my libido is looking for in fantasy.

Yes, I know that's not the gay experience you're used to hearing. It's still mine and I wish I could have talked with Tyler Clementi about it and listened to him talk about his. I would have told him that there is more for guys like us. There can be friendship, insight, adventure, unselfish love, and forgiveness if you want to look for it. There's so much more than doom.

Although I am not the straight guy described above, I have known Trev for a number of years, and we were already good friends before he told me about his same-sex attraction. I was in my early 20s living on my own for the first time then, getting a lot of first dates with women but not a lot of second ones. My initial reaction was to be thoroughly weirded out, because like the other guy, this revelation of Trev’s came along with his confession of a painful infatuation with me that he wanted a way out of. He only told me because he was desperate for a way out of the pit he described finding himself in.

Many would have told Trev the solution to his dilemma was to “come out” to the world as gay at that point. I told him myself that I’d be more comfortable with the situation if at least other friends of ours knew, and the situation put a strain on our friendship. I know he felt particularly ashamed to find himself in such a circumstance for a second time. We struggled through it, but we remained friends. Eventually I came to appreciate the pressure Trev was under from trying to follow Christian values in the face of what the culture is telling us. I also came to understand that what Trev really needed was a genuine friend.

What I now understand (and take to heart as a dad) is that normal male bonding is critical to emotionally-stable boys and men. It's why fathers are so important to young boys and why male-bonding is so important as men pass through their teenage years and into adulthood. I'm glad to see Fox News' Steven Crowder gets this too. And it's an example of how sick our culture is that fatherhood is only now coming back into vogue after decades of being trashed in movies and on tv. I'm especially offended at how male-bonding is mocked as being proto-gay activity (the truth, I think, is more the reverse).

I’m glad Trev trusted me despite the rough patch that followed. I’m honored that in Trev’s life he chooses good friendships like ours over "coming out." I also now agree with him that it wouldn't be in his best interest - if he were to be out to the world, it could impact his career, in addition to him having the debate forced on him all the time instead of being able to compose his thoughts in writing.

The truth is Trev is “out” to hundreds of people by now. Despite some unfortunate misfires (I’ve witnessed a few), Trev shares this part of himself with people he can trust who share his values on manhood, brotherhood, and sexual morality.

So, my job is to be a normal friend to Trev. And his job is to be my friend. We help one another through the daily challenges of life and we’re ready to be there for each other in life-or-death crises.

My Bushie Beer Summit

Trev never wanted Bush.

George W. Bush that is. If I had been old enough in the 80s I would have wanted George H.W. Bush even less. And in the 50s Sen. Prescott Bush, *even* less. So I guess you could say my estimation of the Bushes improves as younger Bush men move up the ranks. Jeb's even better than Dubya...though not as good as he used to be.

Naturally there are enough Bushes for me to have crushes on a couple of 'em. This one is more for old time's sake. For this one my crush derives maybe 90% from this story and his mugshot.

And squishy as Dubya himself may have been on federal spending and government intervention in education, health care, and free speech (not to mention pushing democracy on reluctant third-worlders instead of righteous annihilation), he was ALL MAN here and even here.

While Trev is as fascinated by the Bush dynasty as anyone, and recognizes that they are as a clan both more politically successful and generally way better looking than the Kennedys, I am not now, nor have I ever been a "Bushie." I never campaigned or worked for Dubya, although he somehow wrangled my grudging, halfhearted vote twice.

So it could only have been through a serendipitous turn of events that Trev found himself knee-deep in Bushie gossip over adult beverages last night - my very own Bushie Beer Summit!

I shall spare identifying details (of course!), but here is what I gleaned...

On the Bush White House and its aftermath:

By the second term, Dubya was easily incensed at suggestions that Vice President Cheney was the real decision-maker in the White House. Sounds like by that point a good way to get the President agree to something was to point out Cheney was for the opposite. Of course this usually involved Cheney wanting to do the more politically *conservative* thing.

The picture I got last night confirmed what I have read about conservative Matt Latimer's disappointing experience as a Bush speech writer. Remember - Bush: "I redefined the Republican Party."

That's right, he did do some redefining and we saw the full effect of Dubya's redefinition of the Republican Party in 2006 and 2008. The ultimate result came earlier this year when the overwhelming Democrat majorities in Congress, including a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate, abolished America's health care system.

Thanks for all the redefining, President Bush!

Incidentally, a Latimer column out just yesterday confirms - from the Cheney perspective - the consensus among Bushie Beer Summit participants that the former Veep was not much of an inside player in the Bush White House. No one seems to think Dubya at all approves of Cheney attacking the new president who Bush says, "deserves [Bush's] silence."

In fact, the supposition among these Bushies was that Cheney backed down because his criticism were proving ineffective. I don't think I agree with that. Cheney has after all gone through another major surgery on his heart this past year.

Parties out of presidential power tend to go non-interventionist in the wilderness. My suspicion is that public figures like Cheney, former U.N. Ambassador John Bolton, and former U.N. Ambassador John Bolton's mustache have helped keep a chunk of Republican voters and Republican-leaning independents committed to strong defense and victory over Islamofascism. Of course the Ft. Hood shooter, failed Christmas Day "crotch-bomber," and failed Times Square bomber have also helped keep this set of issues on the front burner for conservatives.

On the Obama White House:

According to Bushie Beer Summit participants, the Obama Administration West Wing and EEOB are chock full of do-nothing, patronage job-holding lazy ex-activists. Maybe not at the David Axelrod or Valerie Jarrett level, but the bulk of White House staff.

The upshot of White House staff slothfulness and having way too many of them is they work in an echo chamber preoccupied by their own internal rivalries. They neglect their former colleagues in the "Professional Left" until it's time to give them orders.

A lot of folks who didn't get into the Administration helped get Obama elected, and rather than collaborate with them, the Administration regards them as mere foot soldiers. So that insight provided me with some background on recent hippie-punching charges by Leftists and scolding from Vice President Biden.

On the shear size of the Obama White House staff, I haven't seen much out there on that to be honest, except for this dust-up over comparing Laura Bush and Michelle Obama's respective taxpayer-funded entourages. But I think it would be a good idea for someone to compare the size of Obama's White House staff versus George W. Bush's.

The idea that Obama's Administration is teaming with unaccountable White House policy czars, though, is clearly embedded in today's political environment. Criticism of the czar model will only grow more prominent when (at least) a likely new Republican House of Representatives dusts off the concept of Congressional oversight. Most operatives I talk to - including Bushie Beer Summit participants - expect Obama to abandon a legislative strategy for implementing "Change" and turn exclusively to Executive Branch regulatory efforts.



(h/t Phil Kerpen)

So it was an interesting contrast for Trev to be around such insidery folk after 20 months reveling in the Tea Party revival. Constitutional conservatives need allies in the ruling class if we want to make any kind of difference with the new majority (majorities?) coming in next year. We need hacks and bureaucratic knife-fighter types and in some states and districts we do need whoever's electable who will play ball.

I just don't want these people to start thinking they are back in charge. We saw what they did with the Republican Party and the legacy of 1980 and 1994 when they held power. Every American will be paying for their capitulations to Progressivism for decades to come.

Now, how about we re-redefine the Republican Party on November 2nd AND give Pelosi, Reid, and Obama what they've got coming to 'em!